


When You Need A Friend To Carry You

by EffieTrinket1619



Series: Helping and Healing [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dear Evan Hansen References, Deceit is mentioned but doesn't appear, Fluff, Gen, Hair Braiding, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Patton loves his boys, Screaming, Swearing, Well - Freeform, a bit - Freeform, but it's okay they work things out, he's a dick tho, i tried okay, just one song, logan is the mother here, roman isn't as confused, they all love each other, title kinda doesn't make sense, virgil has some issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 07:41:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18655969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EffieTrinket1619/pseuds/EffieTrinket1619
Summary: After what happened, Virgil can't help but be jumpy. Luckily, he has his famILY to help him.





	When You Need A Friend To Carry You

**Author's Note:**

> Set a month after the events of 'Never Forget', so I recommend you read that first.
> 
> Tw:  
> Hallucinations  
> There is a knife

It was a relatively normal day in the Mindscape.

Well, about as normal as it could get, with personified facets of someone’s personality.

It was quiet at least. No videos to make, no places to go, no Dragon Witches to fight. It was silent, for once. And Patton was enjoying some afternoon baking.

As he took out his second batch of cookies, he marvelled in the feeling inside of him. Warm, secure, _happy._ His grin widened as he stirred some more dough. He’d call the others down for treats soon. Logan would probably come down with a book and take a slice of fruitcake. Then Roman would walk in, singing Disney songs and stuff his face full of tarts. Virgil would follow him and nibble on a cookie, while quietly helping Patton bake.

He loved his famILY and wouldn’t trade them for the world.

“Hey kiddos! Come down, I’ve got something for you!” Patton yelled. Maybe he should have questioned how his voice from the kitchen can reach everyone in the Light Side’s realm, but he always put it down as some weird magic. Besides, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered at that moment was the array of desserts on the table!

They came down, one by one. Patton was right in his predictions. Logan came down clutching a copy of ‘How to Kill a Mockingbird’ and seated himself down with a small smile at Patton. Roman came soon after, belting out the lyrics to ‘Almost There’. And finally, Virgil slipped into the kitchen without a word and helped Patton clear up.

They were his boys and he’d do anything for them.

“Hey Virge. Wanna lick the spoon?” he asked softly. Virgil’s smile widened a little as he accepted Patton’s offering, carefully licking at the chocolatey batter while studying the cake baking in the oven.

He was still healing. They all were, though the incident had affected him the most. Sometimes, Patton needed to remind himself of the protective guards he’d put up between the two groups.

A month ago, Deceit and his friends had tried to infiltrate the Light Sides, using a special kind of magic found in the Subconscious. They had begun on Virgil and were planning to take the rest of them out, one by one. Patton’s eyes filled with tears as he remembered how it took them days to find him. He spent so long trapped by himself, in the dark. His poor son.

“Hey, uh Pat.” The soft voice startled him out of his spiralling thoughts. “You okay there?”

“Yeah! Of course kiddo!”

Virgil’s brow furrowed. “A-are you-are you still thinking of what happened?”

Patton felt his smile drop instantly. Virgil shuffled awkwardly, fiddling with the zip on his jacket. How had he managed to guess was beyond Patton, but he couldn’t deny anything. Lying would make him as bad as **him.**

 “Yeah. I am.”

Virgil’s expression became stern. “Don’t blame yourself for things you can’t control. You couldn’t have known.”

“I know kiddo. But I’m the oldest. It’s my job to protect you. And I failed when you needed me most.” His thoughts came spilling out ugly and black. “I should’ve known something was wrong. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you Virgil.”

Patton looked down at the ground. _God, he can’t even apologise properly._

A second later, he was enveloped in black and purple fabric. “Patton, I will physically fight you if you keep beating yourself down like this, kay?” Patton attempted to talk again, but got cut off by Virgil, who sounded close to tears. “Shut up Pat. Just stop talking and let me hug you.”

“Hey Padré, wanna watch a mov-,” Roman begun, walking in at that moment. He cut himself off, grinning at the sight of two of the most treasured people in his life hugging in the kitchen. Without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around them, savouring in the warmth. He felt another pair of arms around him, and smiled even brighter, knowing Logan had briefly shed his stoic shell.

 

It was true that Virgil didn’t like sudden loud noises or the dark very much. He slept by the purple glow of a nightlight, and he always found himself leaving the room if it got too loud. Back _then,_ it was worse.

Sitting quietly, he watched the others argue over what movie to watch with amusement. They were always careful not to be too loud around him, and he would always appreciate their thoughtfulness.

Finally, they settled on ‘The Avengers’. By then, Virgil had finished a quarter of the popcorn. Just watching them pick out a movie was more entertaining than the movie itself.

Patton unapologetically snuggled right up to Virgil, and Virgil subconsciously curled up against Patton. It was like instinct now, to lean into touch rather than flinch away.

The movie began, and they watched it in silence, not needing words.

He hadn’t noticed Roman shift over to him until he started talking. “You know, Loki kinda reminds me of you.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “So, I’m a maniac who wants to take over the world with a pretty stick and a sparkly cube?”

Roman sighed in feigned exasperation. “No, I mean that you and Loki never really fit in. And both of you were…mocked for it.” He shrugged, but Virgil could see the guilt behind his eyes. “You two also have similar aesthetics.”

Now he rolled his eyes. “Pump the brakes Princey, that is completely inaccurate.”

Roman smiled a little. “Perhaps.” His head rested on Virgil’s shoulder. “I think your story ended much happier than his.”

“I do too Princey.” Virgil was struck with a sudden thought. “So if I were Loki, would that make you Thor?”

Roman choked on the popcorn he had, unwittingly, crammed into his mouth. “No!” His voice dropped to a whisper. “But I would consider you to be the Bucky to my Steve.”

Virgil felt himself flush, and he swatted Roman away. “Shut up before I kill you Princey.”

 

Virgil was maybe a little too on edge the next day. He couldn’t understand why. But everything, every shadow, every movement, every sound, was enough to make him jump. He almost didn’t get out of bed that morning, putting it off for as long as possible. How could he get out, when his blankets and pillows offered him the illusion of safety?

The rumble of his stomach was the thing to finally spur him on to drag himself out of bed. He checked the clock and frowned when he found it was only 12:34. Groaning, he crept down to the common rooms silently, making his way to the kitchen without seeing anyone. They must be in their rooms then.

He checked the fridge, and felt warmth inside despite the chilly fridge air, when he found a Tupperware labelled with his name.

“Thanks Patton,” he muttered. He heated up the contents, too tired to bother with coffee. He’d just go back to bed after eating. Screw caffeine.

Virgil leant on the counter, probably looking better than he felt. His hand shook slightly as he sipped at some water for Logan’s sanity.

**_Come now Virgil. Why are you scared?_ **

Virgil flinched back violently, eyes wide with panic. _He’s here he’s here he’s here he’s here he’s here-_

His breaths came jerky and shallow as he scanned the area around him. A shadow stepped forward, with a single glowing yellow eye. Golden light flooded Virgil’s vision, blinding him momentarily.

His fingers curled around the handle of a knife behind him, and he started yelling.

 

One moment, all was calm. The next, he heard a shriek, and Roman found himself sprinting to the source of the noise.

“What is going on!” he exclaimed upon reaching the kitchen. He found Virgil, of all people, his eyes glazed over and terrified. And he was holding a goddamn _knife_ in his shaking hands.

 _“Not again! Not again, please!”_ he screamed desperately. Roman was frozen is shock. What the hell was he going on about?

“Virgil.” A cautious step forward. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Roman’s stomach dropped when Virgil’s gaze skimmed right over him. “Virgil,” he started, a little louder, “can you hear me?” Still nothing.

Roman heaved a breath, and, not knowing what else to do, edged closer and closer, creeping behind his friend as to not get anyone hurt.

“Don’t come near me! Please no! Help! Roman, LOGAN! IT’S DECEIT!”

_Oh._

“Shoot, Virgil.” Roman wiped away at his own tears furiously. They weren’t out of sadness, but rather rage, rage at Deceit for daring to hurt someone in Roman’s famILY.

Roman was directly behind Virgil now, and, taking a deep breath while uttering an apology under his breath, he leapt forward, struck the knife out of Virgil’s grasp, and brought Virgil down to the floor with him, wrapping his arms securely around him.

One, long, horrific scream got ripped out of Virgil’s throat. Roman felt his heart shatter in his chest.

The shriek stopped and Virgil gulped in air, sobbing hysterically. “Please! PLEASE! Don’t hurt me! I-I can’t, I can’t, I CAN’T! ROMAN! ROMAN HELP ME! PLEASE!”

Roman only tightened his grip against the frantic struggling, and eventually, Virgil slackened. He cried helplessly into Roman’s shoulder, his body shaking violently.

The Prince watched his Knight fall apart. So he did the only thing he could think of:

_“Have you ever felt like nobody was there?  
Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?”_

He sang it gently, almost whispering the words.

_”Have you ever felt like you could disappear?  
Like you could fall, and no one would hear?”_

Roman’s voice cracked.

 _“Well, let that lonely feeling wash away_  
Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay  
'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand  
You can reach, reach out your hand”

“What in the name of Einstein is going on here?” Logan. Roman nearly sighed in relief.

_“And oh, someone will come running  
And I know, they'll take you home”_

Roman shook his head at Logan and motioned toward the knife. Logan got the message and picked it up to safely deposit in the sink. His movements were slow and deliberate, as to not frighten Virgil.

 _“Even when the dark comes crashing through_  
When you need a friend to carry you  
And when you're broken on the ground”

Virgil’s voice came out so quietly that Roman nearly didn’t catch it. “ _You will be found_ ,” Virgil sang, hoarse and small.

Logan crouched down to their level. “Can you name five things you can see, Virgil?”

He worked Virgil through the exercise calmly, not touching and speaking softly. Patton ran in at some point, but Roman mouthed the word ‘Thomas’ to him, and he, albeit hesitating, sunk out.

Roman rubbed circles into his back and sung softly into his ear.

Finally, Virgil began to mumble for Roman, who made sure to listen carefully to every word.

“I’m tired of being scared Roman,” he whispered, like a small child. “I don’t wanna be like this anymore. I hate this, I hate him, and I hate hurting everyone because I can’t stop being afraid.”

“Hey, hey, shh.” Roman lifted Virgil’s chin gently, so that their eyes were locked. “You aren’t hurting anyone. You have the right to feel this way. What he did to you was…” and here, Roman searched for a word that could fit the emotions swirling around in him and failed. “Deceit messed with the wrong person.”

“Virgil, we are willing to assist you through this. It is clear that the psychological trauma that Deceit has inflicted on you is extensive. It would simply be irresponsible to leave you suffering.”

Well, that was about as much emotion they would get out of Logan today.

“Virge, we’re doing this because we _care._ So shut up and take our love and appreciation, damn it.”

Virgil buried his face in Roman’s shoulder. “Okay,” he mumbled.

 

Virgil was kinda bored, sitting on the sofa, listening to music. He wanted something to do but had no clue what he wanted to do. So he sat in agony, trying to figure out whether or not to find one of the others and ask if they wanted to hang, or to go to his room and scroll through Tumblr for a few hours.

Luckily, his distraction came in the form of a prince with an obsession with Disney.

“Greetings, my Dark and Stormy Knight!”

“Sup Roman.”

Roman settled down on the sofa next to Virgil and pulled out a book. Virgil raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you _could_ read, Princey.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Virgil.” He lifted the book cover. The title read ‘Charlotte’s Web’. “Logan thought I would like it.”

“Kay.”

Without another word, Roman immersed himself in the novel. For a long five minutes, the only sound in the room was the turning of pages.

Virgil found himself distracted by Roman’s hair. He couldn’t understand why, though. Maybe because it looked particularly fluffy, or maybe because he itched to do something with his fingers. So, slowly, giving Roman plenty of time to lean away if he wanted to, Virgil gently took a section of Roman’s hair and begun to braid it.

Roman quirked an eyebrow, and peeked over at Virgil, choosing to not move his head. Wordlessly, he slid off the sofa and scooted over so he was in front of Virgil, making his task easier. A pile of colourful rubber bands appeared next to him.

They sat in silence, Roman reading with his knees drawn up to his chest, and Virgil braiding sections of Princey’s hair and tying them off with a bright band.

Finally, he tied off the last one and admired his handiwork. Roman summoned a mirror and smiled at his reflection. “Could be gayer,” was the only thing he said. Virgil grinned at the challenge.

He summoned, with some difficulty, a box of those hair rings, but in a rainbow of colours. And he set about, fixing them to Roman’s braids, adding more spots of colour than was probably necessary, but this was _Princey._ He loved this stuff.

When he was done, he had to stifle a laugh because oh god, Roman looked ridiculous. His hair wasn’t quite long enough to droop, so the braids stuck out from his scalp. Coupled with the rings and the bands, his head looked his something out of a commercial for a toy aimed at six-year-old girls.

Roman peeked at himself in the mirror again. “Acceptable. Though next time, perhaps you would consider some hair dye?” He waggled his eyebrows, and Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Sure Princey. Whatever makes you happy.”

 

That wouldn’t be the first time Virgil braided someone’s hair.

But those are stories for another day.


End file.
